this will be short because I am not going to dwell on it, but since this is where I rant, i will feel better if I share. But, again, it will be short.
Disclaimer: I could be COMPLETELY insane and be overthinking this, and I probably am but bare with me.
So this "friend" I am now free of. Well, it seems she couldn't help but take one more shot. Her, my child, and I were supposed to see this movie at some point before it went out of theaters. She now lives a while away but we had planned this before she ever moved. Well, the time has come to do this and it seems she's trying to come up with every excuse in the book. She is worried about gas (makes sense (my dad does the same distance--she would be doing one time--every single day for work) because gas is expensive (and it's not like any kind of sacrifice could be made, heaven forbid!)), and she can't take time off work (yet she can take all the time for other people who live who knows where (maybe closer???)), and she doesn't have any money (also makes sense because movies are expensive (yet she has all the money in the world to buy practically a whole new wardrobe)). All legitimate
excuses right (
)? So after all this, it kind of hurts to think that she doesn't seem to care enough to make a couple sacrifices to hang out with her supposed friends. People make sacrifices all the time, right? Now, I know what everyone is thinking: I should make the sacrifices to go to her. Well, I almost would if A) it didn't seem like she doesn't want to hang out and 2) I had the freedom to. Now, I know that last one seems ridiculous but trust me, I don't have the freedom to do any such thing. But my main issue is the former because it seems this is how she wants it to be. I kind of understand because these excuses could be the hints she's trying to give to say, hey I kind of want to move on with my life and leave all y'all behind. I kind of understand, only because I tried to do the same thing with someone else I used to be friends with but that's a whole other story that I WILL NOT get into. I know, I know, HIPOCRYTE! Yes, I have never claimed to not be one. But I had legitimate reasons, mainly for my physical and emotional safety. (ANOTHER STORY NOT FOR NOW). anyway, that's pretty much it. and if I had not made myself clear enough, this journal is just for me to admit, mainly to myself, that she simply has no intention to see me every again and it really hurts me deep down.
Now, I know i said this journal would be short and I'M SO SORRY! I did not mean to rant that much but it just kind of happened. I guess I just really needed it. Although, I do feel much better. If anyone stopped reading after the first word, that's fine. I understand.